The first pictures have been captured of Zachary Quinto, who plays a young Mister Spock for the new Star Trek film, in full costume. (Thanks to JFX.com, who also took it upon themselves to splash their ugly-ass logo all over the shots.)

I can’t believe I’m saying it, but he actually looks like he’ll make a pretty damn good Spock. But looks aren’t everything–in fact, they’re pretty much the least important part of playing a role. But at least seeing the effort and success they’ve taken in making this kid look like a believable Spock is mildly encouraging.

(Note: for those of you who aren’t complete nerdwads, Zachary Quinto is the same fella who plays the bad guy Sylar in the popular Heroes series.)

Keep reading...

So here are my snap judgments, since I know absolutely nothing about the fourth Indiana Jones picture aside from the title and the fact that Harrison Ford is a total dreamboat.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a terrible title and I think it’s indicative of a terrible story and here’s why.

Keep reading...

The title of the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones movie series has just been released.

What is it, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


I have to admit, it’s a lot less catchy than the preceding films, and the apparent object of import–a Crystal Skull and perhaps some sort of “Kingdom”–sounds a good deal less exciting than any lost Arks or Temples of Doom. I mean, what’s a piece of crystal worth, anyway–four bucks? Even the swankiest of antique crystal stemware only resells for a few hundred dollars. We’re supposed to believe the 65-year-old grandpa Jones is going to get out of his recliner for that?

Maybe they should’ve taken a page out of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” playbook and kept the name short, a la Dead Man’s Chest, or At World’s End.

In the end, though, all you really need to know is another recently released–though less heralded–bit of information about the film. And that is that Shia Lebeouf is in it, and he apparently wears an oversized leather jacket, tight jeans, and a fucking mustache. Check out this new cast photo, with Harrison Ford and Karen Allen in full costume:

Despite all hopes that this was an off day for LeBeouf (far left),
it appears as though his character will dress like Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley.

Keep reading...

I just heard someone on The Early Show remark “Jud Apatow is considered the great hope of American comedy.” He went on to praise him and suggest that his success is actually justified.

I cry out to all you comedy writers out there: We can do better! Write all the comedies you can, get agents, and ship that shit to Hollywood. Show everyone that there are still funny people in this country, and that we don’t need Jud fucking Apatow of all people to speak for us. Show the world that comedy isn’t dead and that it doesn’t need to be watered down by that fool.

Please, before it’s too late.

Keep reading...

According to Variety, the inexplicably popular and oddly facial featured Johnny Depp is all gung ho to do a feature film version of Dark Shadows. And of course he wants to play Barnabas Collins, because he apparently thinks he is cool. This is what I have to say about that:

God damn you, Johnny Depp! God damn you to the very pit of hell! Why have you made it your life’s business to take a shit on everything I love?

Thank you for your time.

Keep reading...