I hope you appreciate all the stuff I do for you people and this dumb website. I mean, some of the things I have to go through are incredibly trying. Take today, for example.

About forty-five minutes ago, I was planning to start watching a movie so as I could review it. I needed to plug in this computer so I could type out my notes as the movie was rolling (this is essential, because I have the handwriting of a five year old so if I did the notes with pen and paper I’d never be able to read them). To plug this in, I had to unplug something that was in the way, and I guess I kinda pulled it out of the socket wrong because it shot out all these sparks and all the power to this room went out.

So then I had to go into the weird little room with all the wires and reset the breaker I’d tripped. But here’s where the difficulty comes in: that room isn’t just full of wires, it’s also full of SPIDERS RIGHT FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL. Spiders everywhere! Egg sacs and webs getting all up in your face! I am so cripplingly paralyzed with fear by spiders that it took me a good twenty minutes of talking to myself right outside the little room to get me to go in, and the whole time I was in there looking for the breaker I was screaming “Oh god oh god oh god,” except it came out muffled because I didn’t want to open my mouth very far in case a spider decided to go in there.

So, anyway, now I’m emotionally scarred for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

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