A weird flavor, snowflakes on the package and the phrase “limited time only” spell holiday edition to you, right? They sure do to me, and that’s why I feel justified in calling a pointless blog about Pomegranate 7Up a Christmas post. I have a pretty fierce obsession with Christmas editions of food. Christmas Crunch is perhaps the finest thing ever devised by cereakind. Slap Santa on the label and I’ll eat a can of Dinty Moore Hippo Anus In Its Own Juices. And so I must now sample Pomegranate 7UP, a thing that I would never ever try if it didn’t have those tantalizing snowflakes on the label. I have no idea what a pomegranate tastes like and I assumed I’d never find out. But the Christmas season, with its miracles and magicks, can surprise us all.

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BOOP! BOOP! BOOP! THIS IS A SNACK FOOD ALERT!

Are you sitting down? You should sit down. I’m here today to tell you that if you were to go to your local grocery store, you would be able to buy—you don’t even need a permit or anything!—Reese’s Collector Edition Elvis Peanut Butter & Banana Creme Cups! If you even think I am joking, I will hunt you down and kill you, because this is not the kind of thing one jokes about.

How do they taste? Well, they mostly just taste like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but if you shove the whole thing in your mouth at once you kind of get a bit of a Little Debbie Banana Twins vibe. But that’s not the point. The point is that a candy this bizarre is the very definition of “limited time only.” It won’t be here for long, so I encourage you to go snatch up as many as you can while you’ve got the chance. Let’s use this opportunity to create a new page in our shared cultural/snack-related book, and to send the message to the candy makers that we are in complete support of one-off wacky-ass new candy flavors.

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