So the scuttlebutt is that Shirley Jones—yes, that Shirley Jones—might get all nekkid for Playboy magazine. Now, I’m not one of those people who flatly rejects the idea that old people (Jones is 75) can be sexual, but I’m skeptical about whether they need to do it in print. I mean, Playboy is already difficult enough to punch the munchkin to, what with its tasteful lighting and overabundance of articles. Do they really need to add geriatrics to that list?

But age isn’t the only issue. If I heard there was going to be a Playboy spread  featuring some 75-year-old nobody, I probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But this is Shirley Jones we’re talking about it. Be very honest: are you at all comfortable with the idea of Mrs. Partridge letting all her goodies hang out? Come on, get awkward!

So I’m not saying Shirley Jones just shouldn’t be allowed to be naked. I’m just saying that of all the things I thought I would ever hear, this is among the most totally unexpected.

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