Rating:
I’m reminded of that classic joke:

Q What do you get when you combine half an hour of pretty bad unaired TV pilot with an hour of pretty bad movie?
A  A pretty bad 90-minute movie called The Three Stooges in Orbit!

The course of the Stooges’ career is a sad thing.  They went from making some of the funniest films of all time—not to mention the only two-reelers that people this day and age still remember—to making rambling, unfunny features that even die-hard Stooges fans find hard to love. And, of course, there were the TV cartoons, but really, let’s not kick them when they’re down.

Those shorts with Curly were just genius, weren’t they? The sound effects, the relentless joke-after-joke-after-joke pace, and the formidable skills of the stooges as comic performers add up to comedies the likes of which have never again been seen. After Curly’s departure came Shemp, and while he was never as funny as his predecessor, I’ve come to appreciate him more; he never tried to imitate Curly’s bits, but instead did his own schtick and did it well.

Then were the shorts with Joe Besser, but I all right-thinking people agree that we should just pretend those never happened. I’ll just say this: If you’re a person who doesn’t like to get hit, perhaps stooging isn’t the career for you.

With the end of the series of short subjects and the move into feature films came Curly Joe DeRita. He put forth a valiant effort, and was a welcome sight indeed after the Joe Besser era, but by that point the magic was just gone.

The Three Stooges in Orbit was the fourth feature during Curly Joe’s time with the team. It’s a deeply moving story about three sisters, one of whom is on her deathbed. The others confront their own emotions as they are forced to acknowledge that they simultaneously are afraid the sister will die and wish she’d just hurry up and croak and get it over with.

No, actually, that’s Cries and Whispers. The Three Stooges in Orbit is some dopey thing where the Stooges hang out with a mad scientist and ride around in his damn fool helicopter-tank-submarine contraption for about sixty-eight hours. Also there are some Martians around and they are planning to destroy the Earth because Moe made them watch some TV for a while (I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened, I promise). Eventually the Stooges kill the Martians with a nuclear bomb, because that’s the kind of lovable comedians they are.

Oh yeah, there’s also some kind of subplot about the Stooges having a TV show, and their sponsor wanting it to be different, so their mad scientist friend needs to invent a new kind of “electronic cartoon.” As you have no doubt guessed, this is absolutely an important cinematic plot point and not in any way some weird , totally pointless leftover remnant of the never-aired TV pilot that makes up the first third of this picture.

This was in 1962. Before all those cast changes mentioned above, the Stooges started making their Columbia short subjects in 1934, and though the Third Stooge had many faces, Moe and Larry were there through it all. By the time of The Three Stooges in Orbit, these guys were in their sixties.

Now, congratulations to ‘em for working so long. But when you’re known for the physicality of your act and its frenetic pacing, middle age can be something of a cross to bear. As the Stooges aged, they moved slower and they talked slower and they weren’t quite as capable of taking punches all day every day, resting only to get whomped over the head with a chisel. Add all that to the shrieking and complaining of a bunch of nosy nannies about how poking people in the eyes and putting out cigars in people’s mouths is in some way bad for children, and it’s only natural that the violent slapstick would have beeen dialed way back (in fact, it’s barely present). But when you take the violent slapstick away from the Stooges, what have you got left? Three short guys with weird hair and not much else.

So don’t put The Three Stooges in Orbit on your “must-see” list unless that list is some 5 million titles long. But definitely watch and rewatch their classic two-reelers (my personal favorites include “A Plumbing We Will Go,” “Ants in the Pantry,” “An Ache in Every Stake” and “Dutiful But Dumb”).

Don’t let what they became make you forget what the Three Stooges were: the greatest film comedy team of all time.

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