Superman: Getting Worse Each Time I Think About Him

Dec 28, 2009

Superman: Getting Worse Each Time I Think About Him

Categories: Blogs

Written By: Eric Jensen

Yes, boys and girls, it’s time once again for me to talk about my relationship with Superman. Sometimes in these little therapy sessions I complain about not being able to watch anything featuring Superman, sometimes I’m defending Superman from assorted detractors, other times I’m realizing that perhaps I shouldn’t bother with watching or defending the character.

This is another one of the last kind.

See, I watched Superman II today and wasn’t exactly surprised to find that, though I enjoyed the film in my childhood, it actually pretty much sucks. But I also realized something else as I was watching the movie: This whole secret identity thing is completely stupid.

Remember that scene in Superman II where Lois Lane is convinced she’s figured out that Clark Kent is actually Superman? She’s so sure of herself that she throws herself into the Niagara River, where she’ll surely be killed unless Superman intervenes.

But rather than risk exposing his secret, Clark Kent nearly lets Lois drown before coming up with a way to clandestinely keep her from spilling over Niagara Falls. And this is the guy that loves Lois, remember? Yet keeping the whole “Clark Kent = Superman” thing a secret is so important it trumps saving the life of his sweetie.

All of which is total bullshit. There is absolutely no reason for Superman to maintain the Clark Kent identity at all. The whole pretense is an utter waste of time. This isn’t like over in Gotham City, where Batman is just a dude in a suit. Batman needs all kinds of resources that billionaire Bruce Wayne provides.

Superman, on the other hand, actually is Superman. It’s Clark Kent that is the assumed identity; why not just shed it entirely? Couldn’t he just be Superman all the time? Of course he could. He gains nothing and protects nothing by prancing around as a butterfingered reporter half of the time.

Supes, seriously: Stop it.

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JohnnyB Says:
May 16th, 2011 at 10:16 am

Actually the reason he keeps the secret identity is something that’s really only understood by the comic readers. In short he does it because pretending to be normal makes him feel normal. He likes being able to maybe go grab a burger and not have people asking him for miracles or snapping pictures. He wants to get Lois to love him for his personality rather than for being physically perfect and super powerful. Basically he just wants a “normal life” but wants to also help people. So you could say his Clark identity is sort of a gift to himself.

Besides wouldn’t you rather live in an apartment than a shithole that looks like it’s made of ice in the middle of a frozen wasteland? That was only in the movie though. In the comics the fortress was cool. He had his own robots, various rooms, actual furniture and it was missing the aparently bottomless pits that a guest or bad guy could fall in an die. Always thought that was terrible how they took a character who had a core belief of not killing and then they had him take away his enemy’s powers (making them no threat to him or anyone) and he just lets them die without even a second of regret.