The only conclusion I can draw, based on my recent experiences, is that someone or something does not want me to ever see Superman again.

Two trips to the video store in a row, I’ve rented 1978’s Superman. Two times! (2!) It was a different copy of the film both times, but the results were the same: DISC ERROR.

All I want to do is see a football get kicked really far and see people get sent to the Phantom Zone and all that other good stuff that happens. But it’s not in the cards, I guess. For one reason or another, I am just not allowed to watch Superman.

Can it be that I have, without my ever knowing it, grievously offended Richard Donner to the point that he has made it his life’s work to keep me from watching one of his movies? Is Marlon Brando hassling me from beyond the grave? Or is it, as always, that the universe just hates me and wants to keep me from doing everything I like? Perhaps a combination of all three?

In conclusion, I really want to watch Superman and I can’t.

Discussion Question: Seriously, what’s the deal?

If You Hated This, You Will Also Totally Hate:

• Superman: Getting Worse Each Time I Think About Him
• No Supes for You
• More Adventures with Superman
• Superman: Doomsday
• The Alien Standard