I’ve known the Eartha Kitt song “Santa Baby” for a long time, but I’ve never particularly liked it. Okay, it’s a sultry song about a woman who wants to make out with and marry Santa, plus get a bunch of expensive gifts. But I just this moment actually took note of these lines:

Santa, honey
One little thing I really need
The deed
To a platinum mineWHOA-HO! There is an extremely important pause before that last statement, you see. Innunedo like “come and trim my Christmas tree” is one thing, but man. Eartha Kitt singing about how she needs the deed? I’m ashamed to admit I hadn’t picked up on it before, but I’m also glad I didn’t, because it’s really giving me a warped idea of Christmas in general.Thank god she never changed “hurry down the chimney tonight” to “down my chimney tonight.” That way lies madness.

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