Now, far be it from me to say anything unkind about the 1964 TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It’s a wonderful thing that each of us looks forward to all year long.

But the consarn thing always makes me get a trivia question wrong!

See, my friends and I frequently play this Trivial Pursuit-style board game where all the questions are about the movies and theme parks and television shows from the Walt Disney Company. We play it a lot, so repeated questions have a tendency to pop up.

There’s one in particular that I always seem to get. It asks the name of Bambi’s girlfriend. And every time I’m asked, my mouth immediately opens and pours forth the word “Clarice.”

Then, about a second and a half later, I scream “DAMMIT!”

This happens every single time. If I’d allow myself a moment to think, I’d undoubtedly come up with the correct answer, which is Faline. But when asked to name a lady deer, my brain immediately fires forth Rudolph’s girlfriend Clarice, and all other lady deer are just going to have wait in line.

Which is as it should be, really. I like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer a lot more than I like Bambi.

That’s right, I said it.

If You Hated This, You Will Also Totally Hate:

• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
• The Problem with Home Video
• You Bet Your Balls
• A Pinky and the Brain Christmas
• Remember Some Old Computer Game?