First I decided to celebrate the Star Trek release with a list of my top ten episodes of the original series. I did it in part because I love the show so much and in part because making a top ten list is so very easy. I figured there’d be no way to ever top writing an article like that…unless it was by writing an even equally easy article! So in that spirit, here are, why not, my ten favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

(Special Bonus: In some of these episode trailers, you will get the privilege of hearing from the awesome semi-pirate announcer who always says “Next time on Starrrrrr Trek.” So enjoy that.)

#10: Deja Q

Omnipotent superbeing Q is stripped of his powers, leaving him an ordinarily potent regulobeing. A number of great moments ensue, including Q’s butt-nekkid arrival and a mariachi band playing on the Enterprise bridge, but none match the moment of Q’s epiphany, when he realizes that he’s a real dickhead and Data is awesome. When he confesses that the android makes a better man than he’ll ever be, it’s the only time you feel genuine sympathy for Q.

#9: Time’s Arrow

Time travel? Check. A beheaded robot? Check. Soul-devouring aliens? Check. Mark Friggin’ Twain? Checkmate.

#8: I, Borg

Back before Seven-of-Nine taught us that a Borg could have hot tits, this episode taught us they could have personalities. “I, Borg” does what Star Trek does at its best: forces us to reexamine our perceptions and ask ourselves how far we can go and still hang on to our humanity.

#7: Relics

Guess who’s back! It’s everybody’s favorite fat, mustachioed, vest-wearing engineer. You know who I’m talkin’ about, let’s give a big Cincinnati welcome to Scotty! Woooo!

#6: Yesterday’s Enterprise

Some spaceship comes shooting forward through time or some shit, dead people come back to life and Whoopi Goldberg gets mad about it, and everything’s just all fucked up. Seriously, this rocks.

#5: Chain of Command

Really, it’s all about “Chain of Command, Part II,” an exploration of how a man (a naked man) can hold onto his essence when stretched to the breaking point. You know what I’m talking about, so say it with me:

 #4: The Offspring

Awww, Data had a baby! This episode makes me cry like a five-year-old girl with a bee sting every time I watch it.

#3: The Measure of a Man

Again with the Data, again with the “what it means to be human.” It would seem like the same old same old if it weren’t so fucking great.

#2: Cause and Effect

The Enterprise keeps getting caught in a bank robbery

The Enterprise keeps having to sell someone a mummy hand

The Enterprise keeps exploding.

#1: The Best of Both Worlds

Here come da Borg! They’re headin’ for Earth and they’re blowin’ up all kinds of everything. “The Best of Both Worlds” is a two-parter, and a season ender/opener cliffhanger. I submit to you that the ending of part one is the single greatest cliffhanger in all of television history. Watch this one, guys. It’s unbelievable.

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