Dear America,

In light of the fact that the 3-Dimensional children’s concert “Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: The Best of Both Worlds Concert” was the nation’s top grossing film this weekend, I have but one thing to say to you:

Come on!

If there’s anything worse than the spoiled, over-privileged, prepubescent daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus becoming monumentally famous before she can even drive, it’s the fact that millions of spoiled, prepubescent little girls from across the nation are the reason she’s rich. Double rich.

Take a look at that title. Never mind the fact that it’s a movie of a concert and it’s nowhere near anything like Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”–Hannah Montana AND Miley Cyrus? What the fuck? It’s the same person. There is no Hannah Montana.

So what’s with the title? Does she have some kind of insane, “I’m so lonesome I could cry,” Garth Brooks-inspired, I-believe-in-my-own-alter-ego complex?

Nevermind. Don’t answer that. I choose to know as little about her as possible.

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• Made of Honor