As a person who learned long ago that it would be impossible for him to form meaningful emotional attachments to real people, I've made movies my primary way of coping with and thinking about the world. As a result, almost everything I experience reminds me of a movie in some way. Storylines, scenes, snippets of dialogue, they're all constantly running through my head. When I wake up in the morning, I don't think I wonder what Friend X is doing today, I should call him up and see if he wants to hang out; I think  man, that scene in Lady Killer where Cagney drags Mae Clark across the room by her hair is soooooo awesome! What did I tell you? So even though my brain is constantly bombarded by moments I've seen on the silver screen, they rarely prompt me to actually do anything. I stand in line at the bank and am reminded of The Bank Dick, but I don't feel irresistibly compelled to rush home and have a W.C. Fields festival. The sight of a shopping mall never fails to remind me of Dawn of the Dead, but I'm not overcome by the urge to shamble around eating human flesh ...

I've long been a fan of Pinky and the Brain, whether on Animaniacs or on their own show. And I've long been a fan of Orson Welles (despite the way I feel about him around my birthday), whether he's making movies or being hilariously uncooperative. So what I don't understand is why I never knew that this Pinky and the Brain cartoon existed. Is that not incredible? And while we're on the subject of "people pretending to be Orson Welles at times when he was famously difficult," enjoy this awesome video, too. Haha! It's funny because his career became a joke!